The Iceberg Illusion of Success

I found this picture on the internet and I really loved it and as usual, I would like to use it as a launching pad for today’s article.

I still remember my self when I was young, between the ages of 14 to 23, I used to envy people of my age or slightly older who seemed to have achieved the success that I want for myself.

If I saw another guy with a fancy car, I would immediately justify that by telling myself that he must have rich parents.

If I see a smart guy from a good university, I would say to myself that his parents could afford to educate him in such a prestigious university and then I would say to myself: only if I had the means, then I would have been more successful.

If I saw a guy with a hot looking girl, I would say to myself: “He must have money because that’s why the girl is hanging out with him. I don’t have a car or the money to take her out and give her a nice time”.

Back then, I could not afford to buy all the material possessions that I wanted. I remember when my peers used to have a Game Boy or a Sega Mega drive. They used to come to school and play with those game consoles and it made me feel sad and unhappy because I don’t have one myself. Often times, I would think about my parents with a bit of childish resentment. I had the sense of entitlement because I was immature.

Back then, I could not afford to take vacations or travel wherever I wanted. I was living in a continuous state of perceived lack, holding my happiness hostage to external situations. For a big part of my childhood and adulthood, It felt that my self worth really depends on how others perceive me, how much I have, what car I have, what cloth I wear, what kind of a girl friend I had. Continue reading