A policeman stops a reckless and speeding young driver. The policeman tells the driver: “Do you know that you were driving beyond the speed limit?”
The young, with a smile on his face, replies: “No wonder, this is the first time I drive”
I will be right back
The wife to the husband: “I will go to my neighbor and grab some salt, keep an eye on the food while I am gone. I will be back soon, it will be just 5 minutes at most”
The husband: “How should I keep an eye on the food? What should I do?”
The wife: “It is not much, really! Just stir the pot every half an hour”
The Three Musketeers
Two friends were chatting.
The first one said: “My wife was reading the three musketeers and she gave birth to a triplet. Can you imagine that?!”
His friend replied back in amazement: “God forbids! I actually left my wife when she started reading Ali Baba and the 40 thieves”
True to her word
Man: My wife is one of the few women who stick to their words
The other man: How come?
Man: We have been married since 50 years already and every time I ask her how old is she, she answers 30 years old.
The friend: “Really?! What does he invent?”
The landlord: “He keeps inventing excuses so he does not pay the rent!”