Jokes for the month of June, 2017

No wonder

A policeman stops a reckless and speeding young driver. The policeman tells the driver: “Do you know that you were driving beyond the speed limit?”

The young, with a smile on his face, replies: “No wonder, this is the first time I drive”

I will be right back

The wife to the husband: “I will go to my neighbor and grab some salt, keep an eye on the food while I am gone. I will be back soon, it will be just 5 minutes at most”

The husband: “How should I keep an eye on the food? What should I do?”
The wife: “It is not much, really! Just stir the pot every half an hour”

The Three Musketeers

Two friends were chatting.
The first one said: “My wife was reading the three musketeers and she gave birth to a triplet. Can you imagine that?!”

His friend replied back in amazement: “God forbids! I actually left my wife when she started reading Ali Baba and the 40 thieves”

True to her word

Man: My wife is one of the few women who stick to their words
The other man: How come?
Man: We have been married since 50 years already and every time I ask her how old is she, she answers 30 years old.

The inventor

The friend: “So tell me, what is the profession of the new tenant you have living in your apartment?”
The landlord: “Oh, an inventor”
The friend: “Really?! What does he invent?”
The landlord: “He keeps inventing excuses so he does not pay the rent!”
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Infamous quotes about women

Some infamous sayings about women:

  • A woman is like a bee, she feeds the man honey for a month just to punish him and sting him all his life
  • The devil is the teacher of man, but he is the disciple of the woman
  • The devil needs 10 hours to trick a man, but a woman needs no more than one hour to trick ten devils
  • The best weapon for a man against a woman is another woman
  • A woman is not bothered if she owns less than others until she discovers another woman owning more than her
  • The tears of a woman are but a ruse to attack and control the man
  • The more freedom a woman acquires the shorter her skirt becomes
  • There’s one reason for a man to make a purchase, but for a woman she has one of many:
    • Because her husband told her: “Do not buy it”
    • Because the product makes her feel slimmer
    • Because it is fancy and made in Paris
    • Because her neighbor cannot buy the same item
    • Because no other woman she knows has this item
    • Because all other women have the item
    • Because the item makes her look unique
    • Because…

  • “Epicurus, how often should one man have sex with a woman?”, Epicurus answered: “Whenever he wants to be weaker than himself”
  • Behind each man a great woman. Behind each successful woman, a failed love story.
  • The woman is a devil that let’s you into hell through the doors of heaven
  • Gold is tested with fire, but a woman is tested with gold
  • A woman loves that her husband remembers her birth day as long as he forgets her age
  • If you find friendship between two women, it is a matter of time before it turns into an alliance against a third woman
  • A successful man, is the man who can make more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is the one who can find such man.

 

Note: This article will be kept up to date with latest quotes.

 

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Quotes for the last Sunday of April 2017

  • The generous is courageous from the heart and the stingy is courageous by the looks
  • He who did not make personal efforts to learn on his young age will not make efforts to learn at his older age
  • He who defies his parents will get the same treatment from his own children
  • The fool stands upfront in the line so people can see him and the wise stands behind the crowd so he can see the people
  • Don’t flatter the day before it sets and don’t flatter the woman before she dies
  • Only in the hard times that true friends are known
  • Nice words open doors of steel
  • God only thanks those who thank the common people
  • You can fool all the people some of the times, or you can fool some people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time
  • Never trust a friend without experiencing his true friendship and never underestimate an enemy until you test his/her strength

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Yes, women can be really hard to understand!

It is no secret that woman are hard to understand sometimes because they are affected by their hormones, mood swings, upbringing, the society and political correctness.

If you are, like many other men, confused and not sure what to make when you hear a woman complaining then here’s a short glossary of words and what they really mean:

  • Creepy: anything an unattractive man does (eye contact, conversation, smile, flirt etc.)
  • Loneliness: not being approached by a tall robust, good-looking stud. The rest doesn’t count
  • Celibacy: spending more than 5 days without sex
  • Personality: a tall, robust, good-looking stud. One of deceiving means women use for non handsome men
  • Dream: share the top 5% of elite men, the rest can fuck each other
  • Equality: being superior to men, special rights and privileges to women
  • Rejection: having less than 5 dating options and not being invited to events more often
  • Fear: looks fading and losing the competition to younger, hotter female rivals
  • Vagina: the most powerful multi-function tool a woman can use to get anything she wants because it makes her think she is entitled to get profiles with no responsibility
  • Men friend: an asexual slave creature who women gather for favors, entertainment and free stuff. Someone who a female feels no sexual attraction to
  • Woman: a perfect angel sent from heaven who is blameless, pure, delicate, gracious and free from any guilt and a victim of men
  • Government: a biased institution which pampers and cuddles to women. For example: female-friendly laws, “yes means yes“, equality, etc.

Now after you start to understand a woman and get closer from her, you should make sure you know what is the right way to say things in order to keep her happy:

Dangerous Safer Ultra Safe
What’s for dinner? Can I help you with dinner? Where would you like to go for dinner?
Are you wearing that? You sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at you!
What are you so worked out about? Could we be overreacting? Here’s my paycheck
Should you be eating that? You know, there are a lot of apples left Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
What did you do all day? I hope you didn’t overdo it today! I always loved you in that robe!


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Is online dating a big scam for men?

logo-Match-Tinder-OK-CupidToday, in this day and age of technological advancement, we are presented with tools that aim (sincerely one must say) at helping us in our endeavor in human interaction and forming new connections.

Social tools such as Facebook and online dating websites such as OkCupid, Match.com, eHarmony and the likes, all try to help us connect, form new connections, make friends (with or without benefits) and often times just hook up.
Other tools aim to take advantage of the technology to make it even faster to connect with people by simply letting you provide very little information about yourself (a bunch of pictures for example) and then they offer you a quick and brutal way to judge the profile of other participants and see if they are worthy of your attention (Tinder anyone!?).

Those technological social tools are nice concepts but have failed miserably at helping people connect properly with each other on all dimensions. Instead those tools only cover shallow dimensions of the human interactions without providing the full spectrum of such.

Electronic social interaction is like junk food, whereas face to face interaction is like wholesome and organic food.

This article will be based on my own experience as a male and on the sentiments of many men from various manosphere websites and blogs.

In this article, I will be addressing some aspects and realities that I have observed in this day and age regarding online dating. Continue reading

Hot Crazy Matrix – A Man’s Guide to Women

Funny and mostly true per my experience. Just for the laughs, here you go:

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