Infamous quotes about women

Some infamous sayings about women:

  • A woman is like a bee, she feeds the man honey for a month just to punish him and sting him all his life
  • The devil is the teacher of man, but he is the disciple of the woman
  • The devil needs 10 hours to trick a man, but a woman needs no more than one hour to trick ten devils
  • The best weapon for a man against a woman is another woman
  • A woman is not bothered if she owns less than others until she discovers another woman owning more than her
  • The tears of a woman are but a ruse to attack and control the man
  • The more freedom a woman acquires the shorter her skirt becomes
  • There’s one reason for a man to make a purchase, but for a woman she has one of many:
    • Because her husband told her: “Do not buy it”
    • Because the product makes her feel slimmer
    • Because it is fancy and made in Paris
    • Because her neighbor cannot buy the same item
    • Because no other woman she knows has this item
    • Because all other women have the item
    • Because the item makes her look unique
    • Because…
  • “Epicurus, how often should one man have sex with a woman?”, Epicurus answered: “Whenever he wants to be weaker than himself”
  • Behind each man a great woman. Behind each successful woman, a failed love story.
  • The woman is a devil that let’s you into hell through the doors of heaven
  • Gold is tested with fire, but a woman is tested with gold
  • A woman loves that her husband remembers her birth day as long as he forgets her age
  • If you find friendship between two women, it is a matter of time before it turns into an alliance against a third woman

 

Note: This article will be kept up to date with latest quotes.

 

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Quotes for the last Sunday of April 2017

  • The generous is courageous from the heart and the stingy is courageous by the looks
  • He who did not make personal efforts to learn on his young age will not make efforts to learn at his older age
  • He who defies his parents will get the same treatment from his own children
  • The fool stands upfront in the line so people can see him and the wise stands behind the crowd so he can see the people
  • Don’t flatter the day before it sets and don’t flatter the woman before she dies
  • Only in the hard times that true friends are known
  • Nice words open doors of steel
  • God only thanks those who thank the common people
  • You can fool all the people some of the times, or you can fool some people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time
  • Never trust a friend without experiencing his true friendship and never underestimate an enemy until you test his/her strength

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The most important organ – an anecdote

I read this nice anecdote while waiting at my friend’s business the other day:

One day, the body got together and decided to have a board meeting.

Here’’s what went on behind closed doors.

There was intense discussion to determine who was the most important part of the body.

The BRAIN was the first to speak: without me, nothing would be accomplished.”

Then, the HEART spoke up: without me pumping blood to your brain, you could not function.”

The ARMS laughed. “You’’re both wrong: without me to put food in the mouth, nothing would work.”

The STOMACH said: “without me, your food would not digest.”

The LUNGS bellowed back: without me, you could’nt breathe.”

The EYES blinked: “without me, you could not see.”

The KIDNEYS snorted: without me, you could not detoxify and eliminate.”

Then, the COLON meekly spoke up: I am important. You need me to eliminate all of the garbage from your systems.”

Everyone laughed and made fun of him. “How can you be as important as we are? You’’re just a smelly old sewer.”

The poor colon, —his feelings were hurt! He turned away and thought: I’ll show them. He then shut down.

Then, he sat back and watched what would happen:

  • The BRAIN was stupefied.
  • The HEART’s beat was weak and irregular.
  • The ARMS were weak and couldn’t move.
  • The LUNGS— their breathing was shallow.
  • The EYES became clouded.
  • The KIDNEYS quit.

Then, the COLON looked around and decided it was time to call another meeting. It wasn’’t too lively this time, but everyone was in total agreement.

THE COLON WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT ORGAN.

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Quotes for the 4th Sunday of March 2017

  • For people to like each other, one does not have to always be right — A Belgian proverb
  • It does not matter if you walk slowly, but it is important you are walking the right path
  • If you were stabbed in the back then know that you are in the front
  • Love is physics, marriage is chemistry
  • He who does not respect an appointment, does not respect himself
  • Truth hurts those who got used to illusions
  • Do not ever walk on the woven
    path because it leads you to where others have been — Graham Bell
  • Never say “God is in my heart”, instead say “I am in the heart of God” — Gibran Khalil Gibran
  • Eat less, you live longer
  • Early risers are high achievers
  • The week of the productive person is 7 days but the week of a lazy person is 7 tomorrows
  • Three things enter a house without permissions: debts, old age and death
  • Don’t say: “I will give”, instead just give
  • Good reputation is like an olive tree, it grows slowly but it lives long
  • Wherever a trust worthy person slept is home, but a traitor is a stranger even in his own country

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Keep your thoughts positive because they will shape your destiny

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi once said:

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.

Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior.

Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits.

Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.

Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.


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Funny male sexuality quotes from a shirt I found

  • God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
  • Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.
  • What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
  • A verbal outburst during the male orgasm is called “sperm wail”
  • It’s not how deep you fish, it’s how you wiggle your worm.
  • Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
  • Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it’s too long.

 


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