Documentation is like sex!

Documentation is like sex.

When it’s good, it’s very good.
When it’s bad, it’s better than nothing.

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The Maori Wisdom – Youth Talks – Age Teaches

Little dogs make most noise.
No one needs help to get into trouble.
The God of evil and the God of fear are good friends.
An idle young man – an unhappy old man.
Never be late to a battle to win it.
A piegon won’t fly into a wide open mouth.
Wishing never filled a game bag.
An obedient wife commands her warrior.
Beauty won’t fill te puku (stomach).
Today’s meal is better than tomorrow’s feast.
The brighther the clearing the darker the shadows.
Chase two Moas – catch none.
Time to dream when you are dead.
The widest mouth has the widest grave.
One rotten fish, one fresh fish – two rotten fish.
A warrior without courage has a blunt taiaha (spear).
Great griefs are silent.
A fine food house doesn’t fill itself.
No twigs on the fire – no flame.
A bad thing usually costs a lot.
A wise man knows both pain and joy.
The little wedge reduces the mighty Kauri.


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7 dangers to human virtue – Gandhi

The 7 dangers to human virtue are:

  1. Wealth without work
  2. Pleasure with conscience
  3. Knowledge without character
  4. Business without ethics
  5. Science without humanity
  6. Religion without sacrifice
  7. Politics without Principle

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Divorced Barbie Doll

 

A father leaves work a little late one night and, while on his way home, he remembers that he has not yet purchased a christmas gift for his young daughter. He quickly parks his car in front of a toy store and asks the salesperson:

“How much is the Barbie in the window?”.

With a convincing voice, the salesperson replies:

“Well, we have ‘Barbie goes to the gym’ for $19.95…

‘Barbie plays Volleyball’ for $19.95…

‘Barbie goes Shopping’ for $19.95…

‘Barbie goes to the Beach’ for $19.95…

and ‘Divorced Barbie’ for $265.95…  

The surprised man asks: “What? Why does the divorced Barbie cost $265.95 when the rest are only $19.95?” 

Salesman says: “Sir, the ‘Divorced Barbie’ comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s house, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture, Ken’s computer, and one of Ken’s friends.”

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Futurama: Bender – Robot Grace – or the Geek’s prayer

If you are a fan of Futurama, and Bender the bending robot in particular, you might like this audio clip where Bender says grace before eating:

In the name of all that is good and logical, we give thanks for the chemical energy we are about to absorb. To quote the prophet Jerematic, one zero zero zero one zero one zero one zero one zero one… [Time lapse.] Zero zero one… zero one one zero zero one…two.
Amen.

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Infamous quotes about women

Some infamous sayings about women:

  • A woman is like a bee, she feeds the man honey for a month just to punish him and sting him all his life
  • The devil is the teacher of man, but he is the disciple of the woman
  • The devil needs 10 hours to trick a man, but a woman needs no more than one hour to trick ten devils
  • The best weapon for a man against a woman is another woman
  • A woman is not bothered if she owns less than others until she discovers another woman owning more than her
  • The tears of a woman are but a ruse to attack and control the man
  • The more freedom a woman acquires the shorter her skirt becomes
  • There’s one reason for a man to make a purchase, but for a woman she has one of many:
    • Because her husband told her: “Do not buy it”
    • Because the product makes her feel slimmer
    • Because it is fancy and made in Paris
    • Because her neighbor cannot buy the same item
    • Because no other woman she knows has this item
    • Because all other women have the item
    • Because the item makes her look unique
    • Because…

  • “Epicurus, how often should one man have sex with a woman?”, Epicurus answered: “Whenever he wants to be weaker than himself”
  • Behind each man a great woman. Behind each successful woman, a failed love story.
  • The woman is a devil that let’s you into hell through the doors of heaven
  • Gold is tested with fire, but a woman is tested with gold
  • A woman loves that her husband remembers her birth day as long as he forgets her age
  • If you find friendship between two women, it is a matter of time before it turns into an alliance against a third woman
  • A successful man, is the man who can make more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is the one who can find such man.

 

Note: This article will be kept up to date with latest quotes.

 

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Quotes for the last Sunday of April 2017

  • The generous is courageous from the heart and the stingy is courageous by the looks
  • He who did not make personal efforts to learn on his young age will not make efforts to learn at his older age
  • He who defies his parents will get the same treatment from his own children
  • The fool stands upfront in the line so people can see him and the wise stands behind the crowd so he can see the people
  • Don’t flatter the day before it sets and don’t flatter the woman before she dies
  • Only in the hard times that true friends are known
  • Nice words open doors of steel
  • God only thanks those who thank the common people
  • You can fool all the people some of the times, or you can fool some people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time
  • Never trust a friend without experiencing his true friendship and never underestimate an enemy until you test his/her strength

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