The most important organ – an anecdote

I read this nice anecdote while waiting at my friend’s business the other day:

One day, the body got together and decided to have a board meeting.

Here’’s what went on behind closed doors.

There was intense discussion to determine who was the most important part of the body.

The BRAIN was the first to speak: without me, nothing would be accomplished.”

Then, the HEART spoke up: without me pumping blood to your brain, you could not function.”

The ARMS laughed. “You’’re both wrong: without me to put food in the mouth, nothing would work.”

The STOMACH said: “without me, your food would not digest.”

The LUNGS bellowed back: without me, you could’nt breathe.”

The EYES blinked: “without me, you could not see.”

The KIDNEYS snorted: without me, you could not detoxify and eliminate.”

Then, the COLON meekly spoke up: I am important. You need me to eliminate all of the garbage from your systems.”

Everyone laughed and made fun of him. “How can you be as important as we are? You’’re just a smelly old sewer.”

The poor colon, —his feelings were hurt! He turned away and thought: I’ll show them. He then shut down.

Then, he sat back and watched what would happen:

  • The BRAIN was stupefied.
  • The HEART’s beat was weak and irregular.
  • The ARMS were weak and couldn’t move.
  • The LUNGS— their breathing was shallow.
  • The EYES became clouded.
  • The KIDNEYS quit.

Then, the COLON looked around and decided it was time to call another meeting. It wasn’’t too lively this time, but everyone was in total agreement.

THE COLON WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT ORGAN.

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Quotes for the 4th Sunday of March 2017

  • For people to like each other, one does not have to always be right — A Belgian proverb
  • It does not matter if you walk slowly, but it is important you are walking the right path
  • If you were stabbed in the back then know that you are in the front
  • Love is physics, marriage is chemistry
  • He who does not respect an appointment, does not respect himself
  • Truth hurts those who got used to illusions
  • Do not ever walk on the woven
    path because it leads you to where others have been — Graham Bell
  • Never say “God is in my heart”, instead say “I am in the heart of God” — Gibran Khalil Gibran
  • Eat less, you live longer
  • Early risers are high achievers
  • The week of the productive person is 7 days but the week of a lazy person is 7 tomorrows
  • Three things enter a house without permissions: debts, old age and death
  • Don’t say: “I will give”, instead just give
  • Good reputation is like an olive tree, it grows slowly but it lives long
  • Wherever a trust worthy person slept is home, but a traitor is a stranger even in his own country

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Keep your thoughts positive because they will shape your destiny

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi once said:

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.

Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior.

Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits.

Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.

Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.


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Funny male sexuality quotes from a shirt I found

  • God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
  • Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.
  • What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
  • A verbal outburst during the male orgasm is called “sperm wail”
  • It’s not how deep you fish, it’s how you wiggle your worm.
  • Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
  • Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it’s too long.

 


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9 Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older

Today I received these funny words of wisdom through a chain email. They are funny and insightful, enjoy!

wisdomNumber 9 – Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8 – Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 – Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 – In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 – Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

And, as someone recently said to me: Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last that long.

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I Think I Could Turn And Live With Animals… – By Walt Whitman

I think I could turn and live with animals,
they are so placid and self-contain’d,
I stand and look at them long and long.

They do not sweat and whine about their condition,
They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins,
They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God,
Not one is dissatisfied, not one is demented with the mania of owning things,
Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago,
Not one is respectable or unhappy over the whole earth.

So they show their relations to me and I accept them,
They bring me tokens of myself, they evince them plainly in their possession.

I wonder where they get those tokens,
Did I pass that way huge times ago and negligently drop them?

Myself moving forward then and now and forever,
Gathering and showing more always and with velocity,
Infinite and omnigenous, and the like of these among them,
Not too exclusive toward the reachers of my remembrancers,
Picking out here one that I love, and now go with him on brotherly terms.

A gigantic beauty of a stallion, fresh and responsive to my caresses,
Head high in the forehead, wide between the ears,
Limbs glossy and supple, tail dusting the ground,
Eyes full of sparkling wickedness, ears finely cut, flexibly moving.

His nostrils dilate as my heels embrace him,
His well-built limbs tremble with pleasure as we race around and return.

I but use you a minute, then I resign you, stallion,
Why do I need your paces when I myself out-gallop them?
Even as I stand or sit passing faster than you.

By Walt Whitman from Song of Myself