The corporate cow or the different kind of companies

Source: NewstalkZB

 

Traditional corporation

  • You have two cows
  • You sell one and buy a bull
  • Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows
  • You sell them and retire on the income

A Swiss corporation

  • You have 5000
  • None of them belong to you
  • You charge the owners for storing them

A French corporation

  • You have two cows
  • You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads because you want three cows

A Chinese corporation

  • You have two cows
  • You have 300 people milking them
  • You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity
  • You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation

A British corporation

  • You have two cows
  • Both are mad

An Indian corporation

  • You have two cows
  • You worship them

An Iraqi corporation

  • Everyone thinks you have lots of cows
  • You tell them that you have none
  • Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country
  • You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy

An Australian corporation

  • You have two cows
  • Business seems pretty good
  • You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate

An Irish corporation

  • You have two cows
  • One of them is a horse

An American corporation

  • You have two cows
  • You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows
  • Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has died

An Italian corporation

  • You have two cows but you do not know where they are
  • You decide to have lunch

A greek corporation

  • You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks
  • You eat both of them
  • The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF
  • The IMF loans you two cows
  • You eat both of them
  • The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk
  • You are out getting a haircut

Communism

  • You have two cows
  • The State takes both and gives you some milk

Socialism

  • You have two cows
  • You give one to your neighbor

Fascism

  • You have two cows
  • The State takes both and sells you some milk

Bureaucratism

  • You have two cows
  • The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other then throws the milk away

Venture capitalism

  • You have two cows
  • You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all for cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows
  • The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company
  • The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more

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