I found this nice picture on the Internet:
I found it very inspiring and serves as a reminder to improve myself when I am engaging with others.
Basically, before saying anything to others, one should be mindful of the effects of their words. Words are very strong and are even said to be stronger than swords and weapons.
Before speaking, ask yourself three questions:
Is what I am saying true?
It is important to say the truth. Even the Bible authors spoke about that in Exodus 20:16:
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
If you don’t say the truth, you are slandering , making false accusations or telling lies, all of which have detrimental effects and can harm others.
Is it necessary?
Do not speak for the sake of speaking. If you catch yourself wanting to speak all the time, then realize that you have an underlying issue with self-worth and self-image. By speaking unnecessarily just to draw attention to yourself, you will effectively annoy and irritate others. We are given two ears and one mouth for a reason.
Listen more and speak less, but when you do, make sure what you say is beneficial and useful.
Is it kind?
That’s the jewel of advises. Often times we can be passive aggressive with our words. We can be mean, impolite, and very rude.
While I recognize that we are humans and we err often times, it is important to be mindful and correct ourselves even after the fact. Apologizing for being angry and rude to others can often times remedy the situation. Avoiding unkind words is even better for a future instance.
A very recurrent thing about saying kind things is when a respectful guy approaches a woman and she rudely rejects him. It is no excuse to expect the guy to be “indifferent” or “have a thick skin”.
Always remember that before being negative at others, we are negative inside ourselves. Negativity begets more negativity and before we know it, we transform into unpleasant people.
If you are uncertain whether what you want to say is true, necessary or kind, always ask yourself this question:
How would I feel if others said that to me?
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