Short jokes about the genders and sexuality :)

 


Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman’s underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.

flower separator

Q: Why do men ask for a woman’s hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.

flower separator

Q: What’s common between men and video?
A: Both go backward…forward. ..backward. ..forward. ..backward. …forward. …… stop and eject

flower separator

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn’t come means you are fucked up.

flower separator

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction
A: A teabag.

flower separator

Qualities to be a perfect wife:
Beautiful
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful
Self-Organized.
In short, she must have good:
B.R.E.A.S.T. S

flower separator

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

flower separator

Q: What’s the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology.When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is Sociology.

flower separator

Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?

Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.

flower separator

Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl’s skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?

The boy’s hand.

flower separator

Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath, Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed.
Tarzan asked ‘Why ‘?

The animals told him……… ..’Your tail is in the front’

flower separator

You might also like:

The thoughts of people at a wedding

  • The groom: I am the happiest and luckiest person on earth to have found my wife
  • The bride: Finally, after a long wait, I got to get married
  • The bride’s mom: One married, two more to go
  • The bride’s father: He fell into the trap
  • The groom’s mom: He chose this fate for himself
  • The groom’s father: How cheap this champaign the parents of the wife brought!
  • The friends of the groom: Too bad, we lost him
  • The enemies of the groom: He deserves this fate!

You might also like:

Divorced Barbie Doll

 

A father leaves work a little late one night and, while on his way home, he remembers that he has not yet purchased a christmas gift for his young daughter. He quickly parks his car in front of a toy store and asks the salesperson:

“How much is the Barbie in the window?”.

With a convincing voice, the salesperson replies:

“Well, we have ‘Barbie goes to the gym’ for $19.95…

‘Barbie plays Volleyball’ for $19.95…

‘Barbie goes Shopping’ for $19.95…

‘Barbie goes to the Beach’ for $19.95…

and ‘Divorced Barbie’ for $265.95…  

The surprised man asks: “What? Why does the divorced Barbie cost $265.95 when the rest are only $19.95?” 

Salesman says: “Sir, the ‘Divorced Barbie’ comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s house, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture, Ken’s computer, and one of Ken’s friends.”

You might also like:

Why did the chicken cross the road?!

You have heard this riddle a lot and perhaps used it as a joke many times, perhaps not.

This riddle has puzzled the common folks, scientists, businessmen and religious leaders alike! 🙂

Per Wikipedia, this joke/riddle first appeared in an 1847 edition of The Knickerbocker, a New York City monthly magazine.

Nothing special about it, just a riddle with a funny punch line. Here you have it!

You might also like:

Jokes for the month of June, 2017

No wonder

A policeman stops a reckless and speeding young driver. The policeman tells the driver: “Do you know that you were driving beyond the speed limit?”

The young, with a smile on his face, replies: “No wonder, this is the first time I drive”

I will be right back

The wife to the husband: “I will go to my neighbor and grab some salt, keep an eye on the food while I am gone. I will be back soon, it will be just 5 minutes at most”

The husband: “How should I keep an eye on the food? What should I do?”
The wife: “It is not much, really! Just stir the pot every half an hour”

The Three Musketeers

Two friends were chatting.
The first one said: “My wife was reading the three musketeers and she gave birth to a triplet. Can you imagine that?!”

His friend replied back in amazement: “God forbids! I actually left my wife when she started reading Ali Baba and the 40 thieves”

True to her word

Man: My wife is one of the few women who stick to their words
The other man: How come?
Man: We have been married since 50 years already and every time I ask her how old is she, she answers 30 years old.

The inventor

The friend: “So tell me, what is the profession of the new tenant you have living in your apartment?”
The landlord: “Oh, an inventor”
The friend: “Really?! What does he invent?”
The landlord: “He keeps inventing excuses so he does not pay the rent!”
You might also like: