Short jokes about the genders and sexuality :)

 


Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman’s underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.

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Q: Why do men ask for a woman’s hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.

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Q: What’s common between men and video?
A: Both go backward…forward. ..backward. ..forward. ..backward. …forward. …… stop and eject

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Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn’t come means you are fucked up.

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Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction
A: A teabag.

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Qualities to be a perfect wife:
Beautiful
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful
Self-Organized.
In short, she must have good:
B.R.E.A.S.T. S

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Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

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Q: What’s the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology.When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is Sociology.

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Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?

Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.

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Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl’s skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?

The boy’s hand.

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Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath, Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed.
Tarzan asked ‘Why ‘?

The animals told him……… ..’Your tail is in the front’

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Programming with Emojis

I ran into the EmojiCode website. Emojicode is an open-source, full-blown programming language consisting of emojis.

I personally did not like that language, but it is worthwhile mentioning:

No idea what that code does…I don’t care 😉

Meanwhile, if you are a C++ programmer, enjoy the following, legitimate, piece of code that redefine keywords into emojis and then the fun starts:

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He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one

This is a funny photoshopped picture I received through chain mail. It refers to Luke 22:36. However, it also reminds of me of the Matthew 10:34:

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”

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Canadian Fast Food

During my visit to Vancouver, Canada, I ran into a souvenir shop and I bought this mug which I found cool and funny:

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Why eat with a clown while you can dine with a king?

Commercials can be creative some times. During one of my visits to my home country, I saw this billboard from Burger King mocking McDonalds:

Why eat with a clown while you can dine with a king?

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Not another wine and cheese party!

Like other things in society, we are taught how to be “cool”.

When you friends at work ask you: “So how was your weekend?” and when you answer: “”Oh, I have a wine and cheese party”, this makes you look “cool” and sophisticated.

Personally, I hate such trends.

This photo illustrates exactly how I feel about this cheese and wine fag.

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Strange posters on the street – revcom.us

I was walking back home one night and I noticed a torn down poster about capitalism, the corrupt leaders and what not.

This one talks about Gaza:

This one talks about what employees of the system do:

This one talks about capitalism:

So as it turned out, and after research, that these posters originated from the revcom.us website:

Interested? Not interested? Check for yourself.

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