Short jokes about the genders and sexuality :)

 


Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman’s underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.

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Q: Why do men ask for a woman’s hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.

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Q: What’s common between men and video?
A: Both go backward…forward. ..backward. ..forward. ..backward. …forward. …… stop and eject

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Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn’t come means you are fucked up.

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Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction
A: A teabag.

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Qualities to be a perfect wife:
Beautiful
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful
Self-Organized.
In short, she must have good:
B.R.E.A.S.T. S

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Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

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Q: What’s the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology.When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is Sociology.

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Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?

Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.

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Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl’s skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?

The boy’s hand.

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Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath, Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed.
Tarzan asked ‘Why ‘?

The animals told him……… ..’Your tail is in the front’

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Programming with Emojis

I ran into the EmojiCode website. Emojicode is an open-source, full-blown programming language consisting of emojis.

I personally did not like that language, but it is worthwhile mentioning:

No idea what that code does…I don’t care 😉

Meanwhile, if you are a C++ programmer, enjoy the following, legitimate, piece of code that redefine keywords into emojis and then the fun starts:

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He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one

This is a funny photoshopped picture I received through chain mail. It refers to Luke 22:36. However, it also reminds of me of the Matthew 10:34:

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”

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Strange posters on the street – revcom.us

I was walking back home one night and I noticed a torn down poster about capitalism, the corrupt leaders and what not.

This one talks about Gaza:

This one talks about what employees of the system do:

This one talks about capitalism:

So as it turned out, and after research, that these posters originated from the revcom.us website:

Interested? Not interested? Check for yourself.

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7 dangers to human virtue – Gandhi

The 7 dangers to human virtue are:

  1. Wealth without work
  2. Pleasure with conscience
  3. Knowledge without character
  4. Business without ethics
  5. Science without humanity
  6. Religion without sacrifice
  7. Politics without Principle

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Postcards from Rishikesh, India – 2007

Ten years ago, in 2007, I went for a Dhyan Yatra in India with Isha Yoga. It was an interesting journey and one to remember. A dedicated article about this experience and trip will ensue sometime in the future.

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The thoughts of people at a wedding

  • The groom: I am the happiest and luckiest person on earth to have found my wife
  • The bride: Finally, after a long wait, I got to get married
  • The bride’s mom: One married, two more to go
  • The bride’s father: He fell into the trap
  • The groom’s mom: He chose this fate for himself
  • The groom’s father: How cheap this champaign the parents of the wife brought!
  • The friends of the groom: Too bad, we lost him!
  • The enemies of the groom: He deserves this fate!

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Divorced Barbie Doll

 

A father leaves work a little late one night and, while on his way home, he remembers that he has not yet purchased a christmas gift for his young daughter. He quickly parks his car in front of a toy store and asks the salesperson:

“How much is the Barbie in the window?”.

With a convincing voice, the salesperson replies:

“Well, we have ‘Barbie goes to the gym’ for $19.95…

‘Barbie plays Volleyball’ for $19.95…

‘Barbie goes Shopping’ for $19.95…

‘Barbie goes to the Beach’ for $19.95…

and ‘Divorced Barbie’ for $265.95…  

The surprised man asks: “What? Why does the divorced Barbie cost $265.95 when the rest are only $19.95?” 

Salesman says: “Sir, the ‘Divorced Barbie’ comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s house, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture, Ken’s computer, and one of Ken’s friends.”

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