Spank no lady
Men, sex after 50?
Comic wedding scenario…sadly not far from reality…
Want to know about Bitcoin and crypto currency?
I received this bit via chain mail. It is funny and kind of relevant in this age of crypto currency and how they fluctuate and everyone wants quick riches.
Enjoy!
Continue reading “Want to know about Bitcoin and crypto currency?”
How to impart bad news
One guy travelled to live abroad in another country. Before he left, he entrusted his friend with the care of his family and his cat.
While abroad, he got a letter from his friend saying that his cat has died.
He got angry and wrote his friend the following letter: Continue reading “How to impart bad news”
Being a good parent ;)
Just feeling a bit off
People tell me they are coming for the melons…but they never buy anything
3 Benefits of smoking cigarettes
This is a sarcastic post about the “benefits” of smoking cigarettes. While there are some positive benefits to smoking, the side effects outweigh the benefits. I got inspired to write this post after I listened to an educative video by Gauranga Prabhu entitled “The Joy of De-Addiction“. I used to be a former story myself, you can read the story of my very cigarette. Continue reading “3 Benefits of smoking cigarettes”
Even Flies say grace…
A funny picture I received but it made me think how in modern times, one can get super busy and forget to say grace before eating. This is especially true if you live alone and away from your family who taught you and enforced those values when you were a kid.
You know what? Even robots say grace! 🙂
You might also like:
Catching up after a long time
Two friends, Tom and Mark reunite after a long time. They started chatting and catching up.
- Tom: So Mark, what’s up with you after this long time?
- Mark: Oh, since then I got married
- Tom: So that must be good news
- Mark: No, not really. The wife turned out to be very evil and made my life miserable
- Tom: Oh, that’s not good
- Mark: Well, no worries here. We got divorced and she paid me lots of money during the divorce
- Tom: So, that is of most convenience then
- Mark: Oh yeah, with all the money, I decided to get into the cattle business, but unfortunately they all died in an accident
- Tom: What luck!
- Mark: Luckily, I could sell their pelts for good money
- Tom: So for selling the pelts, at least you recovered your losses
- Mark: Yes indeed and with the money I bought a new house
- Tom: What a turn of events. That sucks!
- Mark: No not really. The wife was still in the house when it burned.
- …
You might also like:
Short jokes about the genders and sexuality :)
Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman’s underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.
Q: Why do men ask for a woman’s hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.
Q: What’s common between men and video?
A: Both go backward…forward. ..backward. ..forward. ..backward. …forward. …… stop and eject
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn’t come means you are fucked up.
Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction
A: A teabag.
Qualities to be a perfect wife:
Beautiful
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful
Self-Organized.
In short, she must have good:
B.R.E.A.S.T. S
Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.
Q: What’s the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology.When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is Sociology.
Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.
Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl’s skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
The boy’s hand.
Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath, Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed.
Tarzan asked ‘Why ‘?
The animals told him……… ..’Your tail is in the front’
You might also like:
The thoughts of people at a wedding
- The groom: I am the happiest and luckiest person on earth to have found my wife
- The bride: Finally, after a long wait, I got to get married
- The bride’s mom: One married, two more to go
- The bride’s father: He fell into the trap
- The groom’s mom: He chose this fate for himself
- The groom’s father: How cheap this champaign the parents of the wife brought!
- The friends of the groom: Too bad, we lost him!
- The enemies of the groom: He deserves this fate!
You might also like:
Divorced Barbie Doll
A father leaves work a little late one night and, while on his way home, he remembers that he has not yet purchased a christmas gift for his young daughter. He quickly parks his car in front of a toy store and asks the salesperson:
“How much is the Barbie in the window?”.
With a convincing voice, the salesperson replies:
“Well, we have ‘Barbie goes to the gym’ for $19.95…
‘Barbie plays Volleyball’ for $19.95…
‘Barbie goes Shopping’ for $19.95…
‘Barbie goes to the Beach’ for $19.95…
and ‘Divorced Barbie’ for $265.95…
The surprised man asks: “What? Why does the divorced Barbie cost $265.95 when the rest are only $19.95?”
Salesman says: “Sir, the ‘Divorced Barbie’ comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s house, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture, Ken’s computer, and one of Ken’s friends.”
You might also like:
Why did the chicken cross the road?!
Jokes for the month of June, 2017
No wonder…
A policeman stops a reckless and speeding young driver. The policeman tells the driver: “Do you know that you were driving beyond the speed limit?”
The young, with a smile on his face, replies: “No wonder, this is the first time I drive”
I will be right back
The wife to the husband: “I will go to my neighbor and grab some salt, keep an eye on the food while I am gone. I will be back soon, it will be just 5 minutes at most”
The husband: “How should I keep an eye on the food? What should I do?”
The wife: “It is not much, really! Just stir the pot every half an hour”
The Three Musketeers
Two friends were chatting.
The first one said: “My wife was reading the three musketeers and she gave birth to a triplet. Can you imagine that?!”
His friend replied back in amazement: “God forbids! I actually left my wife when she started reading Ali Baba and the 40 thieves”
True to her word
Man: My wife is one of the few women who stick to their words
The other man: How come?
Man: We have been married since 50 years already and every time I ask her how old is she, she answers 30 years old.
The inventor
The friend: “So tell me, what is the profession of the new tenant you have living in your apartment?”
The landlord: “Oh, an inventor”
The friend: “Really?! What does he invent?”
The landlord: “He keeps inventing excuses so he does not pay the rent!”
The friend: “Really?! What does he invent?”
The landlord: “He keeps inventing excuses so he does not pay the rent!”
You might also like: