Phone zombies
Short jokes about the genders and sexuality :)
Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman’s underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.
Q: Why do men ask for a woman’s hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.
Q: What’s common between men and video?
A: Both go backward…forward. ..backward. ..forward. ..backward. …forward. …… stop and eject
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn’t come means you are fucked up.
Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction
A: A teabag.
Qualities to be a perfect wife:
Beautiful
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful
Self-Organized.
In short, she must have good:
B.R.E.A.S.T. S
Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.
Q: What’s the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology.When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is Sociology.
Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.
Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl’s skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
The boy’s hand.
Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath, Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed.
Tarzan asked ‘Why ‘?
The animals told him……… ..’Your tail is in the front’
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Programming with Emojis
I ran into the EmojiCode website. Emojicode is an open-source, full-blown programming language consisting of emojis.
I personally did not like that language, but it is worthwhile mentioning:
No idea what that code does…I don’t care 😉
Meanwhile, if you are a C++ programmer, enjoy the following, legitimate, piece of code that redefine keywords into emojis and then the fun starts:
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Canadian Fast Food
Why eat with a clown while you can dine with a king?
Not another wine and cheese party!
Strange posters on the street – revcom.us
I was walking back home one night and I noticed a torn down poster about capitalism, the corrupt leaders and what not.
This one talks about Gaza:
This one talks about what employees of the system do:
This one talks about capitalism:
So as it turned out, and after research, that these posters originated from the revcom.us website:
Interested? Not interested? Check for yourself.
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7 dangers to human virtue – Gandhi
Postcards from Rishikesh, India – 2007
Ten years ago, in 2007, I went for a Dhyan Yatra in India with Isha Yoga. It was an interesting journey and one to remember. A dedicated article about this experience and trip will ensue sometime in the future.
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The thoughts of people at a wedding
- The groom: I am the happiest and luckiest person on earth to have found my wife
- The bride: Finally, after a long wait, I got to get married
- The bride’s mom: One married, two more to go
- The bride’s father: He fell into the trap
- The groom’s mom: He chose this fate for himself
- The groom’s father: How cheap this champaign the parents of the wife brought!
- The friends of the groom: Too bad, we lost him!
- The enemies of the groom: He deserves this fate!
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Divorced Barbie Doll
A father leaves work a little late one night and, while on his way home, he remembers that he has not yet purchased a christmas gift for his young daughter. He quickly parks his car in front of a toy store and asks the salesperson:
“How much is the Barbie in the window?”.
With a convincing voice, the salesperson replies:
“Well, we have ‘Barbie goes to the gym’ for $19.95…
‘Barbie plays Volleyball’ for $19.95…
‘Barbie goes Shopping’ for $19.95…
‘Barbie goes to the Beach’ for $19.95…
and ‘Divorced Barbie’ for $265.95…
The surprised man asks: “What? Why does the divorced Barbie cost $265.95 when the rest are only $19.95?”
Salesman says: “Sir, the ‘Divorced Barbie’ comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s house, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture, Ken’s computer, and one of Ken’s friends.”
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Zipping all files in a Git repository
Hello,
This is a quick / reference post illustrating how to archive (zip format) all the files in a branch in a Git repository.
From the command prompt, type:
git archive --format=zip -o files.zip master
Explanation:
- The “–format” argument lets you specify the archive type. I used the zip file format
- The “-o” argument lets you specify the output file name
- “master” is the name of the branch to be archived.
Do you want to master Batch Files programming? Look no further, the Batchography is the right book for you.
Available in print or e-book editions from Amazon.
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- Batchography: How to do string substitution in the Batch scripting language?
- Batchography: Converting numbers to characters (or the CHR() function)
- Batchography: How to do “switch/case” in Batch files
- 7 DLL injection techniques in Microsoft Windows
Ganesha – The obstacle remover
My fourth painting: Sunset flight
One theory about why numbers are written the way they are
Many years ago, I was reading in Thiaoouba Prophecy book by Michael Desmarquet. A very nice book.
Anyway, in that book, there was a mention about numbers and why they are written the way they are. The alien in the book explains that the numbers are written like this because of the number of angles each number have:
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